Languishing

Dear Soulseekers,

Did you have to look up the word languishing? If you did, that’s OK. It’s not a word that you hear very often, but it’s the latest buzzword for describing how some of us feel or have felt during this pandemic. Languishing is not depression, but the blahs, that’s the technical term. Not a feeling of hopelessness so much as ambivalence. A good word to describe it is “meh”.

I remember a few months ago my husband and I sat down for our nightly Netflix binge, and he’s scrolling for something new to watch, and I said, “I am so tired of this monotony. Watching Netflix every night for a couple of hours, looking for something interesting, then going to bed. It’s the same thing over and over”. I was languishing. Sounds so melodramatic!

I knew I wasn’t depressed but I have been in an almost constant state of blah. The beat down of this pandemic. Even with the vaccines, there is still that uncertainty right? How much longer? We just want things to go back to normal. And as a result, we get worn down I think. My joy in life has dimmed with the restrictions of this lock down. Losing some of my freedom(s) due to restrictions of my own making and those of the pandemic has dampened my love of live.

Before I start walking down the road of “Woe is me”, let me stop. I am a glass half-full person after all. It’s just not my personality to wallow in self pity. There have been some good times. During the past year, I’ve learned a lot about myself, and best of all, I gained an extra year at home with my oldest boys. My family members who did get Covid recovered and were OK. I have been very lucky in that respect. My green thumb has bloomed and is thriving. As a result, my yard is looking much better.

Even with those bright spots, there has still been a looming cloud of “meh”. I engaged in activities out of necessity, to keep my sanity, not out of passion. The end results have been good, but there was a desperation for something to do to help pass the time. And even then, it was somewhat lackluster.

This article from the NY Times really hit home. I am sharing it with you as you languish your way through this pandemic. Sometimes having a name for what or how you’re feeling makes you feel better. This article did that for me.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html

Rest. Take care of yourself, and hang in there. It can only get better from here!

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I'm honest, sarcastic, funny, loyal, a goal setter, determined, health conscious, a dreamer, a bibliophile, and a creative.

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