Dear Soulseekers,

“Between life and death there is a library,’ she said. ‘And within that library, the shelves go on for ever. Every book provides a chance to try another life you could have lived. To see how things would be different if you had made other choices…Would you have done anything different, if you had the chance to undo your regrets?’

This is the question posed in a book I finished reading during my vacation. The main character is then shown The Book of Regrets. “This book is the source of all your problems, and the answer to them too.” Interesting right?

If you found yourself in this in between of life and death and were faced with the possibility of living your life a different way, would you do it? Do you have a lot of regrets?

The job you should have taken.

The first love you should have married.

The date you turned down.

The house you bought.

The arguments with friends.

The fights with family.

The things you said during that fight.

The list could go on and on, and for the main character, her Book of Regrets is pretty lengthy. If you consider that every decision you make every day determines the path that your life goes down, think of all the possible lives you could have lived. The book goes into parallel universes and to me it really is interesting to think about that. I’m not going to tell you how the story ends, but I definitely recommend it.

Today I want to focus on those regrets. As I was thinking about it, I don’t have many regrets or at least I don’t use the word regret. I think what I say is “I wish I had done _______________” or ‘I should have done ___________.’ You know, the woulda, shoulda, coulda song; technically, that probably qualifies as a regret. Regret is defined as the sadness or disappointment over something that has been done. A missed opportunity.

Growing up I always said I was going to be a lawyer. Once I went to college that thought never crossed my mind. What happened to that dream? Do I regret not going to law school? No. Have I wondered what my life might be life if I had? Yes. When I finished graduate school, I contemplated going on and getting my PhD. I still want a PhD. Have I done it? No. Do I regret not getting it? No, but I do find myself thinking, ‘If I had my doctorate, I could do this or that.‘ Is that regret? Maybe. I’ll have to think on this some more.

I encourage you to do some reflecting, or maybe you can immediately list your regrets, but think back on those decisions. Would your life really have been better if you had chosen differently at the time? Maybe. But maybe not. Let’s talk about this some more another time. It takes some reflection and pondering. In the meantime, read the book The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. It’s a good one. Then let me know what you think!

Until next time,

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I'm honest, sarcastic, funny, loyal, a goal setter, determined, health conscious, a dreamer, a bibliophile, and a creative.

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